i don’t know how to handle bearing a separate life in which someone rubbing my leg underneath a blanket isn’t more important than the failed attempts they’ve made to be part of my life all that i abandon because they’re concrete individuals with hopes and fears and i am a nobody hiding behind nothing making everyone a literary character that is constrained like i am but...
Anonymous asked: What's the farthest you've gone sexually?
would anyone like to take a hot shower with me and then realize you’re gonna die because being with me is horrible please?
(.5) talked about sisyphus (.5) asked you if you were okay (2) received two foot rubs (3000 years) still i woke up in the half of the night (forever) for tea and longing
doing the creepiest fucking thing ever but you keep doing it
last time i was really high it honestly felt like that beginning scene in persona where everything was close up like a huge screen
don’t you love when something kinda special happens and you store it in the back of your mind to think about thoroughly later
in the most dispassionate manner i find useless shards of glass in people who are just like me to hold on to and we both end up confused, not because we don’t want halves of each other but because we hate ourselves
You talk nonsense, and are satisfied with it; you are rude, but at the same time...– Notes from Underground, F. Dostoyevsky
it’s exhausting, because i like to think, i just don’t have the power to make anything real
i like secrets way too much to have a healthy relationship with anyone
f a v o r i t e b o y s
start worrying about your mental health when you take a shower with your clothes on and don’t realize it until you put on conditioner
i’m either wondering what you’re thinking when you’re awake or filling in silences with what i haven’t said and either way i fear it’s never good enough. you know, i missed the sleeping sun to be with you or who i think you are. couldn’t tell if your angry stares belonged to you or i, couldn’t tell if your bare white stomach was even there for the time...
after a while you get so high and the smallest thing will just suddenly turn really weird and things are never the same
physcritys– guy i’m talking to butchers spelling “psychiatrist”
female spiders are sexy
did i really have to cry sitting with my legs wide open at the party last night
when you think of something embarrassing you did and your body and face contorts
i mouthed “i suck dick” to a kid in the cafeteria three tables away cause he had a nice outfit
actually one of the best feelings ever is when everyone is staring at you and you know you’re giving up and you just give out and have an anxiety attack everywhere because it’s embarrassing and all but it’s like i’m sorry i give up i’m very weak help me and sometimes it’s just nice not to act i guess
all these boys think i’m a siren actually i think about feeding you trix yogurt
not sure how to go about being lovable and honest at the same time